Traditions - Holding True or Letting go

I have always been one for strong traditions: creating, keeping, and holding true. However, as a mother myself and seeing how my children are growing and evolving I have noticed the same needs to be applied to our Traditions. As a mother it is hard to separate yourself from decades of tradition and still make way for new ones with your children.  I have learned the art of alternate planning and providing options to my extended family. My husband and I both have large families; at least I think 30+ family members at every event are considered large. We have made many compromises over our past 8 years of marriage. We started out doing it ALL, which wore us out real quick, but once we added kids to the mix I started alternate planning. In this method I offer the family in question (his or mine) alternate plans. These options offer our family the ability to keep a tradition but in a new way. It sometimes takes some getting use to but compromise helps keep our family traditions going even if they need to be celebrated in a new way.

Thanksgiving is a great example, our hosting families are fortunate to be a mere 35 miles away from each other. We have instituted a switch for each year such that we spend the morning with one family and then dinner with the other. Yes, we still see both but we are not asked to consume two meals like we did in our “honeymoon” years. Alternatively, on Easter WE now host both families. I found a Holiday that was a bit bare in traditions and made it the centerpiece of our year. Everyone gets to be together and I don’t have to leave my house, talk about a win-win.

Alternatively, some traditions do not need to be changed but  let go. As hard as it is to let go of a tradition it is necessary to give up something to allow for change. This year a fairly new tradition had to be forgone due to circumstances beyond our control, instead we found an alternate plan to better accommodate our circumstance…But, the question remains: From here where do we go? Do we go back to the old tradition, make a new one, or just go one with life before the tradition was started? This is where I find myself throwing my hands up and saying whatever will be will be…I am not going to think today I will think about that next year. How very Scarlet O’Hara of me but nonetheless I think it fits this situation.

The best tradition is one that brings family together no matter how long it has been upheld. It is helpful to be open to change and stay flexible, but if you are bending over backwards to keep a tradition alive maybe it is no longer possible. Remember life is made up of traditions but traditions cannot dictate life. Regardless of what the tradition is, you do not have to be a slave to the past, try to incorporate your mom, wife, and personal style in old traditions because that is one way to ensure they live for years to come.

Let’s make this a week of Traditions, what traditions do you uphold without change and what new traditions have you created for your family?

 

Tradition: Tree Decorating